Mar
21st
Sun
21st
- Douchebags of the Week: Mark Whicker and the editors at the Orange County Register
- Douchebag of the Week: Brett Favre
- Douchebag of the Week: Ian Shapira
- Douchebag of the Week: Sen. Paul Stanley
- Douchebag of the Week: Perez Hilton, a.k.a. Mario Armando Lavandeira July 2, 2009
- Douchebags of the Week: Miley Cyrus and her trusted handlers
- Douchebag of the Week: Phil Rogers May 12, 2009
- Douchebag of the Week: Gov. Rick Perry
- Douchebag of the Week: This stray cat
- Douchebag of the Week: Rick Santelli
- Douchebag of the Week: Leon Lott February 7, 2009
- Douchebag of the Week: Joe Torre
- Douchebag of the Week: Crane Kenney January 24, 2009
It’s shocking that after more than two decades in the business, Whicker didn’t have the common sense to realize how terribly inappropriate and shameless this would strike every rational person as being; it’s even worse that none of the editors above him had the decency or respect for their audience to tell the columnist to go back to his desk and do some real work.
Nowaday, it’s an annual thing to see this blubbering mongoloid get all misty-eyed at the conclusion of a football season, pretend to wrestle with thoughts of retirement while avoiding any training camp and then, ultimately, announce he’s gotta come back because he just loves the game too much.
Shapira actually went on to author a piece entitled “The Death of Journalism (Gawker Edition)” in which he more or less proposed we rewrite the First Amendment. (We hope Ian doesn’t mind us taking perhaps nine seconds to summarize something he probably spent a far greater number of “painstaking” hours on.)
“The best home environment is one where mom and dad are there,” Stanley said. “When you’re married, there’s a commitment there.”
While there was some immediate suspicion about the whole episode being a pathetic publicity stunt (in times of great distress, Perez obviously believes tweeting is preferrable to dialing 911), Hilton rather quickly managed to prove just how much deeper a hole he could dig himself into.
With the help of her trusted handlers, Miley is to hopefully mature and crossover from her Hannah Montana fame to an assuredly older, even larger audience—she’s just not going to do it by growing up and answering any questions her handlers have not already pre-approved, of course.
Enter Chicago Tribune baseball “expert” Phil Rogers, whose past work earned him occasional infamy over at the late, great Fire Joe Morgan. Clearly hurting for new incoming mail, Phil boldly titled his May 4 column, “Common sense calls: DH in NL too.”
“There’s a lot of different scenarios,” Perry said. “We’ve got a great union. There’s absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that. But Texas is a very unique place, and we’re a pretty independent lot to boot.”
But, no, instead you leapt out of that opportunity and tried to further delay the ballgame, which couldn’t have been worse timing because that just means Dusty Baker was getting to spend more time at Wrigley Field.
But after Santelli enjoyed attention last weekend with his clip providing discussion on numerous channels Sunday morning, the mighty free market warrior’s facade began cracking as soon as the weekend ended.
Because to this independent eye, it sure as hell would seem like attempting to charge Phelps with anything at this juncture would be anything but “fair.” As a matter of fact, it would seem pretty clear that the only reason law enforcement would pursue anything like that is precisely because Michael Phelps is a celebrity.
Of course Torre isn’t going to be upset by the reaction; he’s about to get a ton of money for a best-seller. But his continuing charade of pretending to be “shocked” by the usual hype and fallout that surrounds the release of such “tell-all” books (especially, in the era of steroids, with baseball) is incredibly shameless for a variety of reasons..
“The last thing on my mind was calling the Cubs to ask them to bless the field. In fact, I thought it was a joke at first.”
